NE LifeCoach views on Happiness and Habits
Without realising it, many of us have created habits that reduce our happiness. We end up repeating behaviours that make us miserable and then wonder why we aren’t happy. I decided to share some of the ones that I’ve worked on and it’s made a huge difference.
Your Inner critic gets in the way of happiness
Does your inner critic speak out of line? Does your inner critic have a habit of speaking up just at that moment when you think all is safe? When you’re beginning to feel happy? Did you know that your inner critic speaks with the best of intentions? It really is trying to help you, it’s just developed a habit of using criticism to do this. Often, it’s simply trying to warn you that you’re about to step out of your comfort zone. Of course, that’s not what it says but it’s what you could hear. The more you do this, the quieter it becomes.
People-pleasing gets in the way of happiness
Not all people-pleasing is negative. If it pleases you too then it’s fine. If you’re going out of your way to give others your time and energy when you aren’t giving equal amounts to yourself, it can be debilitating. Even worse, if you really don’t like doing it then resentment builds up and erodes your happiness. Could you choose to please others when it’s right for you? This is unlikely to block happiness.
Procrastination blocks happiness
Some of us leave the tasks we dislike to last. All of them. We put them off and end up doing anything else instead, believing that we’ll get around to these other tasks eventually. Do you postpone tasks you hate, imagining you’ll eventually get around to them? All we’ve done is create a nagging feeling inside that we have other things to do rather than the ones that we are trying to enjoy. It’s as if the procrastination has created a physical obstacle that blocks our route to happiness. Get those jobs out of the way first, the ones you dislike, then there’s a sense of freedom that accompanies the happiness!
Find happiness in something new
It can certainly be a bit scary doing something new, even if it’s adopting new behaviours or mindset in your own home, it’s still scary. We can tell ourselves that we won’t be good at them, or will look silly; all the while, making excuses to justify not trying them out. Yet the new behaviours and mindset that we’re avoiding are ones that will really enhance our overall well-being. So, when you notice that excuse beginning to form, pause, take a deep breath and embrace the new!
What will create happiness for you?
If you are upset by another’s behaviour, do you say what would make you happy? Or do you tell them what they did wrong to ‘make’ you unhappy? It can be easy to spend all our time diagnosing what someone else did wrong; how much easier would it be to just state what would make us happy?
If struggle with your inner critic or any of the other elements mentioned above, please get in touch for a free consultation to see what help is available to you. You can contact me here.